A Turning Point

I know that this is supposed to be "our" blog and "our" updates, but it wasn't until very recently did I feel any motivation to write in this. Our son was born 9 weeks (and 1 day) ago. I was so overwhelmed with being a first-time mom and how my whole world was turned upside down that I didn't even know what to write about. There have been so many changes in the past 9 weeks. He's growing up so fast, right before my very eyes, but inside, I didn't feel like a real Mom until this past week. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that I didn't know how to bond with this guy for his first month. I just felt like a milk machine, feeding him every 3 hours (sometimes more frequently), the whole time feeling like he didn't know who in the world I was. It wasn't until he cracked his first smile at 4 weeks did I feel a connection. Almost like a small "Thanks for the food, Mom!". Then he started cooing at 5 weeks, like he wanted to tell me something. I pretend I understand what he's saying and we have a semi-dialogue. It's pretty neat. Then he started to entertain himself for 10 minutes, slowly lengthening to 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and today he laid there and cooed and laughed for 40 minutes. My baby is growing up before my very eyes and I don't want him to pass right before my very eyes; I want to cherish every moment and remember who he is and who he is becoming.

I am now fully enjoying being a mother. I love taking him out and showing him the world, even if it's just the post office or the grocery store for a gallon of milk. I never knew I could love someone so much, to have such an overwhelming desire to protect and nourish, to hold him and look at how perfectly made he is. It took me a while to get to this point - of loving him with ever fiber of my being - but it's the greatest feeling in the world.

I am his mom. He is my son.

-NL