You're Official

Hi Lucas,

You just got your first piece of mail last week stating that you have officially become a number.














I did go through your mail because you are too young to open it yourself but, when you are older, I will try to respect your privacy and not go through your mail but I cannot make any guarantees. I need to protect you from those girls but hey, who writes letters anymore anyway? I did hate it when my grandparents would go through my mail.

Love,
Dad

Gotta Start Young

Hey Lucas,

I just want you to know that what I'm doing is supported by research. Apparently, at your age, you tend to appreciate the contrast between black and white more than anything else. Well, what better thing to use than a Chicago White Sox mobile!!! Being my son, you'll probably be influenced by me in some way and that may translate into the fanship of both the Chicago White Sox and Los Angeles Clippers. Though you may suffer a lot being fans of these teams, you will learn valuable life virtues such as loyalty (I'm still a fan after almost 20, mostly losing, years!) and unwavering optimism (which happens at the beginning of every season). I'm starting you out young so that you will develop a love for them like I have. This is for the better...

Love,
Dad

What You Really Think of Me...

While you were sound asleep in your crib, you inexplicably let out multiple yelps, probably a mating call of some sort for some species of mammal. Anyway, being the curious dad, I walk over to your crib and tried to shush you back to sleep, hoping it was a nightmare. You just kept right on crying, saying, "Dad, why aren't you picking me up? Can't you see that I'm not going back to sleep?" I finally get the message and pick you up but you keep right on crying. Hmmm...I thought, maybe you need a change. So I proceed to change your diaper. While changing your diaper though, you pee on me not once, but twice! Hmm...What are you trying to say now? I finish changing you and you're still crying so, I'm thinking that you're hungry. So, to tease you, I put my nose to your mouth and you start wanting to suck it. Realizing that it's not momma's milk spigot, you start crying again. While feeding, you show me what you really felt after Dad tried so unsuccessfully to take care of your needs.




















All you needed was Mommy.....

-Dad